I don’t like New York!

Here’s why:

1. No free refills on soda
2. Even less parking than LA
3. Signal before changing lanes — it’s the law!
4. Hands-free cell phones only while driving — it’s the law!
5. You know what? I found out L.A. isn’t the only city with traffic problems!

Aside from that, I’m really not sure what New York has to offer. Sorry, I can’t let this one slide… what’s up with the rationing of soda in Manhattan? Do they need to bring it in by helicopter? I just don’t see how people can live like that, with little bluetooth headsets in their ears all the time, like they’re some kind of day-drading dot-com stockbroker Hollywood agent.

I don’t like New York!